Lempert's Lampoon
Shining a light on the absurd since 1978
The fine print, told straight
Effective July 18, 2026
The short version: neither the Lempert's Lampoon website nor the iOS app runs analytics, advertising, tracking, or user accounts. The only personal information we ever receive is what you deliberately type into our feedback form and send us. The longer version, for completeness, is below.
This policy applies to the Lempert's Lampoon website at lempertslampoon.info and to the Lempert's Lampoon iOS app. Where the two differ, it says so.
We do not run analytics or advertising, we use no tracking pixels or third-party trackers, and there are no logins or accounts. We do not build profiles of readers, and we do not sell, rent, or trade anyone's information.
The website has a form for sending the editors a note. If you choose to fill it out and submit it, the name, email address, subject, and message you enter are sent to us so we can read and reply. Those submissions are processed by Netlify, the service that hosts the site and handles its forms, and delivered to us. We use what you send only to respond to you. Submitting is entirely optional — if you don't use the form, you send us nothing.
Both the site and the app remember one small thing locally: your light-or-dark reading preference, kept in your browser's or device's own storage so the paper looks the way you left it. This preference is not transmitted to us or anyone else.
The app ships with the publication bundled inside, so it works offline and needs no server for ordinary reading. So that new issues and corrections can reach you without waiting for an App Store update, the app also checks our own server at lempertslampoon.info for updated editorial content — such as new issues, images, and playlist data — and downloads any it finds. These are ordinary requests for our own first-party content: they send no personal information, use no accounts, and are not used for tracking or profiling. As with any web request, the host that serves the site may record standard technical details (see Website hosting below); we don't use those to identify or track readers.
To render the way it's meant to, the site (and this page) load typefaces from Google's font service, and a few pages show video thumbnail images served by YouTube. Loading those means your browser contacts Google and YouTube directly, and those companies may record the request under their own privacy policies. We don't receive that information, and we don't control what they do with it.
Articles link out to third-party sites — cited sources, videos, and the occasional diversion. Following one takes you to a site we don't operate, governed by its own privacy policy. We receive no information about what you do there.
Like essentially every website, ours is served by a hosting provider that may automatically record standard technical details of each request (such as IP address, browser type, and the pages served) in routine server logs used to operate and secure the site. The app's periodic checks for updated content reach the same host and appear in the same routine logs. We don't use these logs to identify or track individual readers.
The app does not request access to your location, contacts, camera, microphone, health data, or photo library.
Neither the site nor the app knowingly collects information from anyone, including children under 13.
If this policy changes, the effective date above will be updated, and material changes will be reflected on this page.
Questions about privacy can be sent to lemps.lamp.privacy@gmail.com.